25th 25th

The mood is partying! The music is good. The people are lovely. The spirits are lively. The weather is pleasant. The night is moon-less. The food is yummy. The ambience is perfect. The occasion is Christmas!
Yes, its the 25th Christmas (25th dec'06) of my life. My life that is at last phase of its student life. Its the final semester of MBA. I got placed in the first company I applied for. My friends love me. Its probably the last party (at least Christmas) that all of us are celebrating together. Apparently, I have no reason to be gloomy. But deep inside there is a problem. And it seems to me a universe of problems. Its my fate! Its my fate that i couldn't celebrate my birthday (14 dec). For those of us who have never lived a hostel life or away from home, birthdays mean all friends gathering at your place a little before 12, a cake cut at mid night, bear-hugs from all friends, loads of b’day bumps, and a monkey made out of you by putting the cake all over your face! All those who have had such an experience would agree with me that you live on top of the world in those few moments. Who would not like to live those magical moments? But its not the entire thing. The fate says that you can't live without problems and you have to show your face (smiling or frowning you decide) to others as this is a sort of party time for you - b'day, Christmas, new year! So here I am at the party organized by my friends on the terrace of one of co-organizers' place. Its supposed to be a Christmas party in which we have dinner, bonfire, cake cutting at midnight, more or less in that order. My presence is important as the organizers are all my closest buddies and i can't say no to them. And why should i say 'no' to them? Can they do any'damn'thing for me (especially in this case) - no! Would they interpret it the way it actually is - no, for sure! Apart from that it’s the same with everyone. Everyone has their own set of problems. Small or big. Easy or esoteric. Short term or long term. Soluble or insoluble. But life is like that. It is not a bed of roses; neither is it a piece of cake. Its like a sensex graph which goes up or down everyday. To fight these situations is like being a real man. Ergo I dressed up well, worn my best smile and joined the happening crowd.

As people started pouring in, the mood of the party developed. Its around 10 pm when everybody has arrived and has greeted all others. Its time to have dinner. The food is from a local dhaba which serves good quality north Indian food (after all who would not love to eat north Indian in Hyderabad where even normal daal contains kadhi-patta). After the food, we all sat encircling the bonfire and had lots of fun. Games, music, dance performances and of course those raunchy jokes. Amidst all this I forgot my true identity for a moment. I forgot that I am not supposed to be happy. Rather I should be mournful and should be praying to the God for alleviating all problems of mine. Somewhere someone is knocking at the core of my heart to make me realize that I should not be doing this. But I am getting a counter knock that I have no control over fate. I should be praying to the almighty but this probably is not the right time. Its mid-night and time to cut the cake. We chose the eldest and the youngest persons to cut the first piece. After that God knows where the cake will disappear. The cake is really yummy and it melted in the mouth like anything. The junta wants to play ‘antakshri’ now. So, we started off with that and I am getting more puzzled whether I should sing or not. Some lines are so beautiful that you feel like singing them from your heart. The same knocking and counter-knocking game starts again. Somehow I again manage to strike a balance.

The mob is tired of singing now and wants to take another direction. Someone suggests why not have a cup of hot coffee? Ya, it’s a pretty decent idea. Hot coffee on a cold winter night at 2:30 am. The group enters a restaurant which is open till late night or early morning I should say and orders coffees, hot chocolate etc. The moments are sparkling and bedazzling. As if there won’t be morning to this night. There won’t be an end to this party. There wont be any cheerless day anymore. We are there talking, laughing, photographing and enjoying the ceaseless ecstasy.

Those were the moments when I forgot everything in life. When I simply felt the true pleasure of a cup of coffee. When I realized how privileged and blessed I am to have those friends around. When I understood that God has been utterly kind and benevolent to me. From that time, my faith has reached the top of the echelon. It has given me tonnes of strength and never before clarity of thoughts, soul and core of my heart.

These problems will vanish one day, Inshallah. It will be a thing of the past. I will see the bright sunny day. I will have more reasons to smile and that will be the day when I will remember all my friends who extended a helping hand (knowingly or unknowingly) and my heart will be connected to theirs for some seconds to give them my love, warmth and best wishes.